He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
