Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
