you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
