apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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