Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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