Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
