i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
either way he was missing a nipple.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
