You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
