I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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