she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize