1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
