i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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