What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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