I just saw a hot homeless man
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
