Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish you could order shots online.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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