that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
