Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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