Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So here I am, sexting at work.
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