Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
