does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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