I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
