so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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