im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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