u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize