i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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