Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He kissed a someone with a penis
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
