What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
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smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
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My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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