So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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