Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
