Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
