i was born a porn star she said
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
