Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
