The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
