So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
