i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Will exercising make me less horny?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
