i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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