Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
