Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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