we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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