Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
