I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
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