and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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