im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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