you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My pussy is not your playground.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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