honey bunches of taint.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
