You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.