Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.

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(775): before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal. http://tfl.nu/j0la

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(518): View more from New York

True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.

(1-518): View more from New York

True? Did she teach you things?

(518): View more from New York

She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.

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(518): True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night. (1-518): True? Did she teach you things? (518): She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am. http://tfl.nu/r18t

Replies (13) Good night (2705) Bad night (615)
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(904): View more from Florida

someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.

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(904): someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude. http://tfl.nu/xhi6

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(540): View more from Virginia

amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.

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(540): amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check. http://tfl.nu/o1ir

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(770): View more from Georgia

I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.

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(770): I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected. http://tfl.nu/i708

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(360): View more from Washington

I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?

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(360): I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/rwph

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.

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(864): Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants. http://tfl.nu/bdpr

Replies (5) Good night (2014) Bad night (727)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.

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(605): and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno. http://tfl.nu/gxse

Replies (10) Good night (5660) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.

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(217): I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong. http://tfl.nu/7bl9

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.

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(203): She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE. http://tfl.nu/wm9f

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.

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(318): Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass. http://tfl.nu/dq3p

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(514): View more from Quebec

So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?

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(514): So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much? http://tfl.nu/8ysl

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(507): View more from Minnesota

You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"

(815): View more from Illinois

I stand by it.

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(507): You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her" (815): I stand by it. http://tfl.nu/atfq

Replies (5) Good night (1521) Bad night (304)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?

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(785): Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird? http://tfl.nu/9vh0

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(330): View more from Ohio

Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.

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(330): Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive. http://tfl.nu/6c5n

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