my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
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He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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