Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize