lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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