How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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