Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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