my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
