Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
