oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize