No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
