There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Randomize