you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
