Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
