Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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