Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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