Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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